17 October 2006

Goblins & giants

It has been predicted in a report today that humans will divide into two distinct sub-species in 100,000 years from now.

Descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative, whilst the "underclass" humans, will evolve into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.

The forecast has been made by Dr Oliver Curry, after spending two months investigating the ascent and descent of man over the next 100 millennia. He suggests within a thousand years humans will evolve into coffee-coloured giants between 6 and 7ft tall. But Dr Curry said centuries of sexual selection was likely to create more and more genetic inequality.

The logical outcome would be two sub-species, "gracile" and "robust" humans.

Dr Curry said: "Things could get ugly, with the possible emergence of genetic 'haves' and `have-nots'."

Other predictions included:

  • Physical appearance, driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility, will improve.
  • Men will exhibit symmetrical facial features, look athletic, and have squarer jaws, deeper voices and bigger penises.
  • Women will develop lighter skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, even features and smooth hairless skin.
  • Racial differences will be ironed out by interbreeding, producing a uniform race of coffee-coloured people.
  • Improved nutrition and medical science will see people growing taller and fitter, while life-spans are extended to 120 years.

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